Does anyone know this song? It's by "The Carpenter's," who my mom loves. In it she says, "rainy days and Mondays always get me down." I personally LOVE rainy days. I miss the endless clouds and rain of Seattle. This Florida sunshine has been hard on me. However, I REALLY don't like Mondays. Even as a kid I experienced sleepless Sunday nights, dreading the beginning of a new week. Wow! I sound like I need therapy!
Anyway, I feel like I've had a lot of Mondays lately. When it rains it pours. I won't get into everything that has happened, and none of it's awful awful. But I will say, to those of you who knew I was pregnant, that I miscarried early last week. It didn't come as a shock. I was actually expecting it to happen. We knew from the beginning that the baby wasn't developing properly. I'm sad, yes, but relieved at the same time. I spent so much energy worrying and hoping, and now that burden is no longer there. I'm still young too. I have plenty of time to have that big family I've always dreamed of. Plus I still have four beautiful, healthy children and a wonderful husband.
Does anyone feel bad for feeling sad? I do. If I get upset when something goes wrong, I feel like I need a big slap in the face to remind me how tremendously blessed I am. When I realize how much I HaVe been given I start to feel bad that I had wanted more. I feel so selfish and ungrateful!
Well, now onto my frivolous problem. With each of my four pregnancies I have gained about 15 pounds in the first three to four months and maybe 4 pounds after that. It's awful! I look like a blimp during the first trimester. Then, suddenly, the weight comes off my face, arms, etc, and goes to my belly where it should be. I gained a good seven pounds while I was pregnant for those ten weeks. I NEED to get it off now. I'm starting tomorrow since I can't start today (it's my birthday). I'm also putting a weight tracker on my blog to keep me motivated. I've done the South Beach Diet in the past. It works for me, so here I go again. Anyone want to join in?
Sorry, no pictures in this post. I look and feel like a SLOB! Oh, and sorry for all the whining.
10 years ago
4 comments:
Thanks for posting this Kat. I've been wondering about the baby and am sad it happened, but think you're amazing for handling it so well. As for feeling bad about being sad...I think it's normal for feeling down, but I love that you realize you can't stay down for long and have to bounce back.
As for the diet, I definitely need one saying as I still have 10 lbs. sticking around since Trev. For some reason I can't my shiz together to lose it. Not good. I'll watch your tracker on your blog and hopefully it will keep me motivated too.
P.S. Happy birthday!! I actually thought about you on the 7th, which is my mom's b-day, and my cue (ever since we were junior high buds) that your b-day is coming up. I hope you had a great day.
P.S.S. Rain sucks. I want to live in Florida!
Kat, I didn't know you were pregnant. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know how you can be a mother and not feel down about loosing a pregnancy. That is our gift as women. Sometimes it is very painful though. So in response to your blog, yes, it's more than normal, it's natural. It's things like this that makes you fall in love with your kids that you do have all over again. Having healthy children truly is a gift.
P.S. The Carpenters with forever remind me of your mom. So will Nick at Night and the Beetles.
Sorry to hear about that. I think feeling sad is part of getting over it and certainly not selfish at all.
Hearing the Carpenters instantly takes me back to being a kid. Great memories!
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